If you have ever dealt with a narcissistic friend, family, or partner for too long, chances are at some point you have had to do the work and decondition a lot. We hope these tips can help you or any loved one you may know.
Remember, know that you have done the work to decondition, you are unstoppable and we are here for you. Be proud of how strong you are and the work you've done. And if you are beginning your journey, we hope this helps and just know you will come out stronger.
Things you adopt from Narcissists; Programming to look for and break:
1. Your emotions don’t matter
You and your emotions are an inconvenience and an annoyance. This makes it hard for you to stand your ground in life. You learn to swallow your emotions and even thoughts and try to throw it into the dark. You become worried your emotions are often illogical or crazy and don't matter.
2. They make you believe love and basic kindness or human decency must be earned and if someone is treating you poorly you must just take it
You become so used to being treated poorly and learn that a reaction to it is not worth it since you will just be adding onto the abuse and paying the price for speaking about it is not worth it. You become a people pleaser and are desperately trying to find people that like you. You start over extending yourself in life and grasp any attention from people.
3. Resentful and toxic relationships become normal
You come to normalize and believe resentment is normal and you become worried and paranoid that your relationships aren’t what they seem because of this. It messes up your connection with others, especially if the narcissist is always trash talking and saying paranoid things about outside relationships. You let people walk all over you or treat you bad and stay in bad friendships or relationships or work places
4. You disregard your own needs since you are always just an annoyance or inconvenience
You begin to find it hard to take care of yourself and you watch and pay attention for the needs of others. You shut down and shut off your own needs.
5. Your senses are always heightened for always being in flight mode and avoiding setting off any more
You are often exhausted and worried you have done something wrong or people are annoyed with you. You can sense any faint change in someone’s mood. You begin to look for any faint change in someone’s tone or body language out of conditioning
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